Reflect on Your Past
More and more, I realize how often life feels like a winding road, full of unexpected twists and turns. When I take time to reflect, I can see how far I’ve come, and those moments remind me of a strength I didn’t always recognize in myself. There’s comfort in looking back and seeing what I’ve made it through, but I’ve also come to understand that it’s just as important to keep my eyes on what’s right in front of me.
When I glance back at the seasons where I was trying to survive cancer or work through past trauma, I can see how I leaned on my faith through fear and uncertainty. There were many nights filled with worry and quiet prayers, moments where I didn’t know what the future would hold. But almost without fail, something would shift by morning. As the sunlight came through the curtains, I would feel a sense of hope again, a reminder that there was still strength within me, even when I had forgotten it.
Those experiences shaped me in ways I now understand. I couldn’t do the work I do today without having gone through those moments. Reflection has value when we allow it to remind us of what we’ve overcome, not when we stay stuck there.
While my past helped shape me into the woman I am today, living fully in the present is what shapes my future. It’s easy to get pulled into memories or caught up in what might happen next. I’ve had times where those thoughts took over, where everything felt like it was spiraling and I couldn’t find my footing. But there are also moments when something shifts, and you see things differently in a way that stays with you.
One morning, I was sitting on my porch swing with my dog Angelo, watching the sunrise through the cottonwood tree. The birds were moving from branch to branch without any sense of urgency. A doe stood quietly under the crabapple tree with her two fawns, and a cat crossed the yard, simply going about its day. I found myself wondering if they ever think about the past or worry about the future.
Probably not.
In that moment, I realized how much power there is in simply being present. The past has its place, but it’s something to glance back on, not live in. Each day gives us a new opportunity to choose how we move forward, how we respond, and how we align ourselves with God’s purpose for our lives. That realization shifted something in me. It brought a deeper sense of gratitude for everything I’ve been through, because all of it led me to that moment.
I remember sitting in a small chapel at the Riverside Mission Inn not long before my wedding. My dad was very sick with cancer, and I knew he would not be there. I was holding both joy and sadness at the same time, feeling the weight of what I was losing and the blessing of what I was gaining. I prayed, overwhelmed and unsure how to carry both.
In that quiet moment, something settled in my heart. As I focused on where I was, instead of everything I feared or wished I could change, I began to notice the small, meaningful things around me. A sense of peace replaced the heaviness I had been carrying. It reminded me that even in the most emotional moments, there is still something steady we can hold onto.
I’ve come to see that many things that didn’t work out the way I planned were actually leading me somewhere better. There were times I wanted something so badly, only to be disappointed when it didn’t happen. Later, I would realize that what came instead was something I never could have imagined for myself.
For me, hope is closely tied to my faith. It’s trusting that even when I don’t understand what’s happening, there is still a purpose unfolding. That trust gives me the ability to move forward with a sense of calm, even when things feel uncertain.
Being kind to myself has also become an important part of this. It’s easy to look back and be critical or to worry about what’s ahead, but choosing to respond with compassion changes everything. When I approach myself with patience and understanding, I create space to grow instead of shutting down.
There have been days where I’ve felt completely defeated, where nothing seemed to go right. In those moments, I’ve had to stop and remind myself that effort matters, that showing up matters. Even sitting quietly with a cup of tea and reflecting on the day has helped me see that I am still moving forward, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
As I continue on, I hold my past with appreciation, live as fully as I can in the present, and look ahead with hope. Staying grounded in the moment and treating myself with compassion has changed how I move through life. It’s given me a steadiness I didn’t always have.
And I trust that whatever comes next, I will be able to meet it.
