The Worst Lies We Tell… Are to Ourselves
The worst lies I’ve ever encountered aren’t the ones told to me—they’re the ones we tell ourselves. As Christians, we know lying is a sin. For every lie spoken aloud, countless more echo in a person’s mind. How do you feel when someone lies to you? Now, imagine the quiet destruction caused by the lies we tell ourselves. The-self-criticism and falsehoods that sabotage happiness, self-confidence, and the depth of love and trust you could ever hope to experience. It separates us from God. You’ll know it’s happening to you—that you are a victim of your own lies if you constantly defend yourself, fighting external battles that have "nothing" to do with maintaining true inner happiness. The battle within is far more damaging, eroding every hope we carry. We are God’s creation and to speak ill of ourselves is something we cannot take lightly.
We are God’s creation and His love is felt most deeply by those who have self-compassion. If God says “Treat others the way we want to be treated”- Luke 6:31 then we must know self-compassion first towards ourselves. Our thoughts can wander to self-criticism more than we realize.
The greatest love is to love who God created fully with love, and that is the key to having the most loving, respectful relationships. Self-criticism is literally like a monster eating at your soul. Self-criticism is a liar. Over time, that harsh inner voice can wear you down more than anyone else you imagined ever could, convincing you that you are less than who God created you to be. It twists the truth, making you believe you are undeserving of love—until one day, you no longer recognize yourself.
Breaking free from this starts with facing the lies in your mind about yourself. Even if they were spoken over you by someone you trust, a parent, teacher, or sibling. It takes courage to confront them. Parents make mistakes, too. Knowing this and choosing to forgive is where freedom begins. They have lies they tell themselves, too. Oh, I’ve been there. When those lies take root and have tangled in your soul like weeds with thorns, when someone else criticizes you, you defend and believe what you already have for so long. It hurt already, and they just uncovered what was there- Pull that weed and you will never believe the lies others tell you-it will not stir you because it isn't already a part of you.
It is so important to be honest with yourself. Many people don’t even realize they’re lying to themselves or when it began—it started a long time ago. Without knowing it, they sabotage their own happiness, unaware of the heavy chains they’re carrying. Sometimes, generational chains just hold them back from the greatest love. Breaking those chains is one of the most powerful, freeing feelings in the world. It takes courage, vulnerability, and self-compassion. These lies often feel like background noise—so ingrained since childhood that they seem like truth- so much so that if you dare to break free, you feel fake because it is unfamiliar to feel so deserving. But they are deserving. Challenging these lies is difficult at first, like wearing your shoes on the wrong feet, but that discomfort means you’re on the right path.
Having the courage to expose every lie you’ve believed about yourself will bring incredible serenity into your life. It changes you, and it is worth it because it allows you to feel much more love and self-compassion than you imagined. You will love those around you more, and you will be even easier to love. If hearing a friend or anyone who cares for you say “I love you” makes you feel very uncomfortable. Don't look at them- look at you! Examine this closely without self-criticism but with self-compassion and as an observer with curiosity as to where this came from. It's okay if it is uncomfortable, but it is a very good indicator of your own discomfort with self-compassion.
God is for you for the rest of your life, and that will never change.. He already believes you deserve the best love. If you’re resisting this truth, it's okay. You are probably in the habit of feeling self-compassion and are more aware of how you speak to yourself. Ask God to help others who need to become aware of this—to reveal the truth of who they are so they can feel deserving of love.
To God, we are all are still children, innocent and learning. You are lovable just as you are to Him. Thank God for this grace
If you get defensive when someone speaks truth into your life to help your life be better for you, a truth for the betterment of your happiness and well-intended but feel defensive toward them, be open to the possibility that you already struggle with self-criticism. That’s why vulnerability can feel like an impossible thing to have, even with those who love you most. God does not plant self-criticism in your mind. He is love. Only the greatest deceiver tries to make you doubt yourself. Forgive those who placed those falsehoods in your mind, and let them go gently.
People who criticize you without any intention of helping you feel better about your life have been criticized, too. They believe lies about themselves. I wrote this because I've seen this struggle as the root cause in so many of the women I have coached. It has robbed them of so much when they deserve so much more. But the truth is, we’ve all faced it—whether we are 20, 40, 60, or 90. There is always more love waiting for you, but it begins with self-compassion.
Shannon Knight
