The Good The Bad and The Ugly

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

I have often observed cancer survivors who lose their manners towards another cancer survivor. Entitlement to behave rudely because you are sick is not acceptable. I know anger comes from fear and all about the rollercoaster of emotions that come with cancer grief. I get it, it's because they're scared but being self-aware of this habit (because I find it is a habit) works against your own immune system. Fear and anger produce cortisol/ I know fear, when it hits, you can feel the surge of cortisol and the disease throughout your body. I am not rude to another survivor because of two reasons. First, I empathize because I have been there. Second, to hurt someone else means you are also hurting yourself. it always turns out that way. You never feel as good as you think you will by being rude.

"This morning, a woman, in particular, was rude towards me." I went through a healthy emotion I will not hold in because all of our feelings are valid and we need to process them. I expressed a strong position of self-respect. I took a stance and the woman knew she crossed a boundary. That is very healthy!.

When people write me oftentimes they state what they want from me as if they are ordering something from me, like take-out food. They simply write their request for more details to me about my cancer survivorship. If you realized how rude you sound you would NOT do it. They don't ask how you are today. It is all about them getting what they want. My analogy is like a cute little puppy hungry who smells some's leftovers in a trash can. They will trample over that person's flower garden to get to that trash can for what THEY WANT. They are starving. They don't care about the delicate flowers getting destroyed... Flowers, What Flowers? Then the Puppy moves on, sniffing the ground to the next house to get what it wants.

For the most part, I get contacted by women who have mutual respect and our conversation goes smooth or at least we have a neutral benign discussion. I like sharing but understand I am only one survivor out of many. Learn from me- Tread softly, they've been through a lot. They are a gift to you if they take the time to talk with you. An absolute gift when they share their story that no one is entitled to. I can handle that. I'm here. Manners are a must.

I have a long list of amazing women in my life who have social graces and loving-kindness in discussions with me about my cancer journey. I went through a lot, but I do focus on the gift of life that I have. A life I thought was ending in 2010. People reach out to me because they learned that I beat stage 4 breast cancer in 2011 without ever doing chemo, which was not by choice. Each time chemo was in the plan, it was canceled was because I had a staph infection twice. I understand people who are diagnosed with cancer and that they are desperate for answers. If you ask me about radiation, I only have my experience, and it wasn't good; it almost killed me. Who knows, you might breeze right through it!

I share my story like many other survivors and hope it helps, inspires, empowers, and uplifts them.

For the most part, I find that people are scouting around and will do what they feel is best for them. Today, the woman said that "her oncologist" would like to see my medical records- I doubt the doctor asked her to ask me. It could be her husband, a brother, or anyone skeptical. I have two Oncologists in my family, and I know they would agree that it is exploitive and unethical to pass a message on to their patient to a stranger's medical records for them to look at.

Something is off there because it invades my privacy to share all my medical records. I am not their patient, and it would be handed to a stranger to pass on to her doctor. I highly doubt that was what happened. I know you are scared, but I can not alleviate that for you. I cannot tell you what will work for you. My journey started in 2006, and I went through an emotional rollercoaster ride and never talked to one person about their journey. I prayed, and I trusted my intuition. We need to do the same.

I have been cancer-free since 2011 because of CMN HOSPITAL in San Luis, Mexico.

Thanks to Dr. Payan! He made no promises, but he did not give up on me! If you want to know the cost or information, call them.

CMN Hospital cured me, and I have no idea what is in store for everyone with this unpredictable cancer disease. It is by the grace of God Dr. Payan saved me. I was too sick and weak with an infection to do the chemotherapy. I am a stage 4 survivor who went through a lot- I had my breasts cut off at the University of Washington in 2006, the beginning of my journey. In 2010 UCLA burned me with radiation right through to my lungs. I still suffer from UCLA's frightening memory telling me in September 2010 that I only had 3-12 months to live. The scary memory visits me now and again when I talk to other survivors. We are human, and it is normal to have flashbacks for some of us. I paid my price with conventional, and I made that decision, and my choices are on me. Not once did I see what was at the end of any paths I chose for treatment. I had no guarantees for healing- It's always a gamble or, in my case, trusting God and having hope and faith to keep conquering my fears.

You will be influenced by skeptical family, friends, or naysayers you just met.

They will feed your fears and confuse you. You need to be stronger and quiet your mind to hear your God-Given intuition. You don't know me, but I have loved ones, and it does not insult only me; you insult the people who raised money to get me to CMN Hospital, My Angels for Shannon who watched the clock tick after UCLA told my family, and me I was dying in 3-12 months. The decisions survivors make to try to survive are on all of us. We decide what to have done to our bodies. The decision will have an impact. We choose how long to delay- doing self-treatments, conventional or alternative treatments. You do what you feel is best for you.