Soulmates Help us Grow
"Soulmates Help Us Grow"
I have always believed in soulmates. I believe there are more than one that come into our lives, each bringing lessons if we are open to them. Not all soulmates are meant to stay forever, but I believe there is one special soulmate who stays longer than the rest. They may appear in our lives in unexpected ways and leave just as quickly, but they are there for a reason. Some stay longer and can push buttons we didn't even know we had, and some may leave and return, bringing new insights when the time is right.
In 1990, I met such a woman, and she challenged me almost daily for about a year. She was 40 years older than me and very wise. It got to the point where I'd try avoiding her. She wasn't unkind, just "always right," and it felt like I was always on the hot seat. Oddly enough, a part of me wanted to be on that hot seat because I knew deep down that I needed to hear what she had to say. For the rest of my life, I am grateful for the lessons I learned from her, which proved valuable in my life. The lessons were not forced on me; I chose to accept them. It was like a mission to step outside my comfort zone. You don't always realize the value of someone right from the beginning; sometimes, it is long after they are gone that you remember the lessons.
Every time I felt rattled by something this woman showed me about myself, I grew uncomfortable, feeling vulnerable and exposed. I didn't like looking at my mistakes; I wanted to hide. Wouldn't it be simpler? It's silly, really—if your life isn't working, think of it as a disease, like cancer. I had cancer, so I can relate. If I have cancer and refuse to let the doctor see the size or location of the tumors, staying in denial won't help. I need to identify what's wrong so I can do the work to heal my body.
There will always be people who come into our lives to help us do our soul work. We all have work to do, so none of us should walk around thinking we're better than another. We all have room to grow. I felt my soul waking up, and I welcomed the change, no matter how uncomfortable it was to confront things I needed to work on. This was more than just a challenge—it was a deeply personal decision to grow spiritually, to strengthen my relationship with God. I realized that our souls are the substance of who we are, the realness that defines us beneath all the outer layers. Our souls are where God meets us, where He speaks to our hearts and guides us on our path. It's through our souls that we connect with God, and through His grace, we learn to embrace the lessons He sends our way.
Our souls hold our deepest truths, our most authentic selves. It's our soul that connects us to God, to each other, and to the lessons that life brings. When we do the work of the soul, we are engaging with the very essence of our being, touching the core of what makes us truly human. And it is in this sacred space that God becomes more significant, leading us to the growth He knows we need.
It takes courage to allow someone to be open with you about what opportunities for growth you have. What changes do they see that need to be made for your life to improve? Are you stuck in old habits, addictions, or procrastination? Will you allow someone to point that out to you? It takes trust. So make sure this is someone trustworthy—check out their life, success, integrity, value system, and moral compass. I had the courage to let down the walls. I knew that if I chose to defend myself against the things she brought to my attention, I would sabotage any chance of change that could greatly benefit me. I would miss out on a beautiful opportunity that could positively impact the rest of my life. I chose to be uncomfortable and saw everything she showed me as a gift rather than judgment or criticism, and I changed what needed changing.
She was a soulmate and a friend. She showed me the possibilities of change, just like holding up a mirror to show me a smudge of dirt on my face. She did it with love and kindness. But ego gets in the way sometimes and refuses to let you even look in the mirror. Pride and ego are like buddies, building walls that love can't penetrate. They divert your attention from the message your soulmate is trying to convey. They complicate and confuse, making the lesson harder to comprehend. It's a cunning game where there is no winner.
Pride and ego will use every means to push your soulmate away, making them feel they have done something wrong and creating an unsafe environment for growth. You shouldn't push if this happens. Never be aggressive or force anything on someone; just let go. This is their journey, and whatever they choose isn't right or wrong—it's simply their choice. You can walk away kindly.
The result is that you end up walking around with that smudge of dirt on your face all day. A true soulmate is brought into our lives for a reason, and love is always connected to their actions. Harsh criticism is never used when you are trying to show someone you love what you see in them. Love is the only way to deliver the observation, and even then, people may react defensively rather than being open to learning and growing.
Sometimes we find a soulmate to live with forever, and sometimes it's only for a time. It can be too painful, and the soulmate's message may be rejected because it's not ready to be heard. It may be reintroduced later by another soulmate, and then the message makes sense. It's like a light bulb goes off, and you finally understand what a previous soulmate was trying to say. Don't beat yourself up for not being ready at that time—now is as good a time as ever.
Soulmates are a blessing, even if they make us feel exposed and uncomfortable. Someday, it may all make sense, or perhaps it won't. Just because someone makes you feel a little off-kilter or out of your comfort zone doesn't mean it's bad. Change is uncomfortable. Remember the first time you rode a bike, danced, started a new job, or went on a first date?
Change is inevitable. Get used to it and welcome the lessons. You will recognize truth because your heart and mind have an innate way of knowing. And through this process, your connection with God deepens, becoming more meaningful with every step you take toward spiritual growth, as you engage with the true essence of your soul, where God dwells and guides you.
