Months to Live
"A Glimpse into the Past"
This photo was taken on September 9, 2010, during a time when I was facing stage IV breast cancer. UCLA had informed me that there was nothing more they could do, giving me only months to live and advising me to get my affairs in order. Now, in my thirteenth year of being cancer-free, I find myself reflecting more deeply on these experiences. There is so much to consider about how cancer affects us psychologically and emotionally, in ways that are unique to each of us.
My brother gave me the dog tag around my neck in this photo and it holds a special scripture which helped me through cancer: Psalm 34:4, "I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."
“Understanding, Empathy, and Respect"
I want to share something today. I am approaching this delicately and with deep consideration for each of you. This isn’t just about marking another "breast cancer survival anniversary," but rather reflecting on the journey of living, healing, and the deeply personal experiences we all face going through breast cancer.
Talking about breast cancer can be incredibly personal. For many women, even writing or saying those words can feel overwhelming. It's a profoundly intimate experience, different for everyone. I want to acknowledge the sensitivity of this topic and honor the courage it takes to face these delicate conversations together.
"A Heartfelt Story"
Just yesterday, a dear friend of mine, who is healing from stage IV breast cancer, was trying to enjoy a moment of joy and normalcy in her life. Despite her efforts to embrace and savor these moments, she encountered a passive-aggressive comment on social media. The remark was not only insensitive but also deeply hurtful, and witnessing such cruelty was both heartbreaking and deeply upsetting.
No one deserves to be treated poorly, especially when they are simply trying to find some happiness and relief amidst their ongoing struggles. The emotional toll of dealing with cancer is already immense, and facing negative, judgmental comments only adds to this burden.
This experience moved me profoundly and compelled me to share my thoughts today. I have experienced it personally and seen others got through similar and even worse experiences. We have the right to protect our emotional well-being. If you come across negativity that feels hurtful or intrusive, it’s absolutely okay to block those comments or individuals. Your peace of mind and mental health are crucial, and you have every right to safeguard them.
"The Intimate Nature of Breast Cancer"
In 2011, I survived stage 4 breast cancer without chemotherapy. My story was quite controversial. Now, in my 13th year of being cancer-free, I understand deeply how delicate and sensitive this breast cancer diagnosis can be. It touches every part of our lives—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Sharing such an intimate part of oneself publicly requires immense courage. Many of us fear judgment or misunderstanding from those who haven’t walked in our shoes. The fear of being seen differently or reduced to our diagnosis is a heavy burden to bear.
I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006, and I was single most of that time. There is an understandable fear of what men may think about dating a woman who has had breast cancer twice. Will she be a burden? These concerns are real and deserving of our empathy and awareness. I am now blessed to be married to a man who loves me as I am, but when I was single, sharing this part of my life felt even more overwhelming. Concerns about dating and approaching the subject can be very sensitive. Once something is shared online, it stays there indefinitely. This can be intimidating and make a deeply personal experience feel exposed.
"The Challenge of Transparency and Privacy"
In 2010, when I had a recurrence at stage IV, I had to raise money for my treatment. It was incredibly difficult to share my personal story publicly. The need for transparency felt like an invasion of my privacy at a time when I was trying to focus on healing. However, without transparency, people find it hard to trust, especially when raising money for alternative cancer treatment like I was doing with "Angels for Shannon" in 2010. It is such a balancing act.
"Honoring Every Woman’s Choice"
I've seen that family or friends can often be unsupportive, adding to the emotional burden. On the other hand, there are those who draw closer, offering consistent support and understanding. This support is crucial and can make all the difference. I feel that the spiritual impact is significant too. Some women find their faith tested to the breaking point, while others draw closer to God, finding strength and solace in their spiritual beliefs. Supporting women through these spiritual challenges is just as important as addressing their physical and emotional needs.
Every woman’s story is precious and deserves to be heard. When women share their stories so vulnerably, it is a gift to others who can glean something from it and feel a sense of commonality. However, we are not entitled to push for more. Privacy is a powerful part of healing, as it allows us to process and recover on our own terms. Respecting a woman's right to privacy is essential because it acknowledges her autonomy and personal journey. I want every woman to feel supported in whatever choice she makes because intuition and personal choice are so important on this healing journey.
"Reflecting on Fourteen Years of Survival"
Now, in my fourteenth year of being cancer-free, I find myself looking back on the journey with a deeper perspective. The psychological and emotional impacts of cancer are profound and vary greatly from person to person. Each woman’s experience is distinct, shaped by her own circumstances and inner strength.
"Respecting Personal Choices"
Whether you decide to share your story or keep it private, know that your choice is valid and deserves respect. Our experiences and how we navigate them are deeply personal. Trusting your intuition and making choices that feel right for you is essential on this path to healing.
