Blessings, Gratitude, and Angelic Support"
This evening, as I sit here with my wonderful husband, reflecting on the past 12 years since my PET scan results precisely 12 years from today to confirm that I was cancer-free. Anyone reading this knows I want everyone to heal from cancer and hold on to hope no matter what. I was afraid at first to believe it was true because I was told I only had months to live in 2010.
You don’t bounce back from news like that very easily and here I am today 12 years later with seven grandchildren and a wonderful husband.
Twelve years ago, I didn’t have any of these miraculous blessings and didn’t even dare to dream that big back then. It is a time in my life that I will forever hold close to my heart. I cannot help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to God and all of what you were able to accomplish together
I wanted to take a moment to express my deepest thanks to every one of you who were by my side throughout this journey whether it was an inspirational email, a phone call holding the Fundraising event at Jazz Bones. Even painting, wine glasses to sell and many other creative things you did to raise funds to get me to CMN Hospital.
Heather I will never forget when I was stage three and you told me that you knew that cancer would not take me down, and I thought you were saying that to lift my spirits and make me feel better. When I told you that, you said, 'Absolutely not and that you just knew it, that I was going to get through cancer and that it couldn’t take down someone like me- a bright light" I can't forget those words and so many encouraging conversations.
I understand now what Heather meant. When I was stage four in 2010 she to said it to me again and it was too hard for me to believe and yet she was right. I hope everyone going through cancer has someone like Heather in their life that looks beyond the cancer to who they are as a whole person-not just the cancer. She was the best, she just set me straight whenever I needed to be stronger and have more faith. I told her I didn’t want to be a burden. She said, "Friends will be a burden to one another that’s called friendship and I hope you’ll be there for me one day too." She constantly reminded me that I was not a burden. I saw the magic unfold among my girlfriends, putting their whole heart into their fundraising mission because insurance would not cover non-traditional cancer treatment.
My husband and I are here, reminiscing about the countless blessings that have come our way since that fateful day of getting the scary news that nothing else could be done for me in the United States. I had done surgery I had done radiation and I got a terrible infection. It would’ve been impossible for me to try chemo if I had wanted to but it just wasn’t an option.
Counting these blessings became easier after I conquered cancer, but the practice of gratitude journaling genuinely opened my eyes to the beauty in even the smallest things. I have been flipping through the pages of my gratitude journal, and I can see how my attitude changed over the weeks and months in those pages of trying to push myself to find the simple blessings around me that I was taking for granted because I was so preoccupied with fear of not surviving.
That preoccupation is typical and it’s good to look back and count the blessings God had surrounded me with.
I want to let anyone who is reading this know that it’s okay to go through that time like I did, to feel down and scared, because it’s not easy finding joy in a frightening time. I managed and started counting the simplest moments, like sipping broth through my favorite pink flex straws that helped me drink without spilling. Or friends visiting me, even if it was just drawing with me in bed like Keighlyn Lindgren, my best friend’s daughter; I called her my therapy fairy, and she was so good for my soul. Even washing my hair for me, just so many things I can’t express because it would need to be a book! In those moments, I realized how precious life is and how every little thing can bring immense happiness and create unforgettable memories.
But beyond the tangible blessings, I am eternally grateful for my friends' unwavering faith and loyalty. Heather Rayburn, Dawn Allen, Melody Kanter Williams, and Cindy Jones, you all were my rock throughout the entire journey. And it was a journey where I reached many crossroads and had to make some difficult choices. I felt all of you with me even though the choice was all mine; all of you supported me when I turned to something unconventional to try one more time to fight cancer.
It wasn’t easy for people to understand why I would cross the border to Mexico and go to CMN Hospital CMN Alternative Cancer Treatment and I didn’t have time to explain how important it was to me that I have the love and support to continue trying to heal my body; I didn't want to give up the fight, I felt hope. That’s why I know without all of you, I could not have gotten through it. I just know it. Your love and support have been a constant source of strength for me, and I cannot thank you enough for standing by my side through the highs and lows.
The kindness and generosity you all shared, going above and beyond to raise funds so that I could continue fighting for my life, is truly noble. Witnessing your dedication and unwavering commitment to helping me in my time of need touched my heart in ways words cannot fully capture.
So, my dear angels, please accept my heartfelt gratitude. You have been my guiding light, my pillars of strength, and my source of inspiration. I am forever indebted to you for your love, support, and unwavering belief in me.
As I celebrate this milestone in my life, I hope that everyone else can experience the incredible blessing of having angels like you were in my life. May we continue to cherish the moments, big and small, and may our bond grow stronger with each passing day.
It's amazing what a little love and teamwork can accomplish when you put your heart and mind in full flight! Angels for Shannon
With love and gratitude,
