Why I’m Finally Sharing This Story

From one Christian sister to another, may you feel His arms around you as you read my story. I believe the pain we have walked through is never wasted. In God’s hands, our story can become the very encouragement another woman needs in her darkest moment.

For many years, I was not ready to share the story that came before cancer. Some stories take time. Sometimes they take many years. Every woman deserves the freedom to decide when, where, and how her story is shared. No woman should ever feel pressured to speak before she feels safe and ready.

There often comes a moment when we realize we must face the fear of being judged. Like many victims, I questioned myself and wondered what I could have done differently. I carried blame that did not belong to me.

I understand now that the responsibility belonged to the person who chose to hurt me, not to the woman who survived it.

I have shared much of my journey through stage 4 cancer, but cancer was not the beginning of my story. There was another life-changing chapter that came first, and I believe the time has come to share it.

I want to help more women than those who are facing cancer. I want to reach the woman who is living in fear, carrying shame, questioning herself, or wondering whether she will ever feel safe again.

If sharing this part of my life helps one woman feel understood or reminds her that what happened was not her fault, then telling it will have been worth facing my own fear.

When My Life Changed Forever

In 1997, my life took a dramatic turn. I became the victim of a violent crime that left me with deep emotional and physical scars. Panic, anxiety, and fear became part of my everyday life. My faith was still there, but fear often made it difficult to hold on to hope.

When the perpetrator was released from prison, he made sure I knew he had not forgotten me. This was a time when cell phones did not provide the protection and documentation they offer today. For two years, I was followed and threatened.

He left notes on my car and waited for me after work. The constant feeling of being watched made me question everything around me. Despite my reports and restraining orders, he remained hidden.

Living in Fear

I isolated myself more and more because I believed it was the safest thing to do. Yet the isolation also left me feeling lonelier and more vulnerable.

He attacked me multiple times and left me with physical injuries. The fear for my life and the people I loved became overwhelming. When you are terrified and exhausted, it can be difficult to imagine that life will ever feel safe again.

Like many victims, I replayed my choices and questioned myself.

What could I have done differently?
Was there something I should have recognized?
Could I have prevented what happened?

Trauma can convince a woman that she was somehow responsible for another person’s actions. It took time for me to understand that his choices were never mine to carry.

I could not see a way out, but I knew I had to make difficult choices that would eventually lead me toward safety.

Starting Over: A New Name and a New Life

Starting over was incredibly difficult emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually.

Through the Victims of Crime Program, I received help obtaining a new name, a new Social Security number, and relocation for my safety. I was forced to leave behind my name, home, career, community, and the life I knew.

I moved approximately 1,100 miles away to Port Orchard, Washington. It was easier to hide in a place where no one knew me, but I felt completely alone in an unfamiliar town.

I was not simply moving to another city. I was beginning my life again without a trace of the identity I had known.

Why I Chose the Name Knight

When I was given the opportunity to choose my new last name, I prayed over it. I chose Knight as a reminder to put on the full armor of God described in Ephesians 6:10–18.

My name became more than a way to protect my identity. It became a daily reminder that I was never truly alone. Every time I saw or heard it, I remembered that God was my shield, my defender, and the One who would help me stand when I felt I could not.

My Own Independence Day

I arrived in Port Orchard on the Fourth of July—Independence Day.

The meaning of that day was not lost on me. It felt like God was marking my new life with a promise of freedom, not only from the person who had hurt me, but eventually from the fear that had wrapped itself around my heart.

That day became my own personal Independence Day. It reminded me that even through the hardest beginnings, God can lead us toward safety, hope, and a new understanding of who we are.

What Fear Could Not See

I never imagined that one day I would sit across from women, listen to their stories, and recognize parts of myself in their pain. Yet today, I have the privilege of helping women find their way through some of the most difficult chapters of their lives.

Women have trusted me with whispered stories, tears in their eyes, and voices carrying years of pain. Through their courage, I began to understand my own story differently.

Looking back, I can see what fear could not allow me to see at the time: God was in the details. Even in the moments when I felt abandoned, even when I could not hear Him, He had always been there.

Journey of the Heart Coaching grew from those realizations and from the understanding that the stories we carry are not the end of us. Even when life feels shattered beyond repair, God is still at work in the broken pieces.

Then Cancer Entered My Story

Six years into my new life, I faced another battle.

In 2006, I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. The diagnosis left me feeling vulnerable and frightened. A bilateral mastectomy was more than a physical change. It felt as though I had lost another part of my identity and womanhood.

One of the greatest blessings during that time was the sisterhood I had eventually found in Washington. A group of women became like family to me and helped carry me through one of the hardest seasons of my life.

By 2008, I was declared cancer-free, and my gratitude was beyond words.

When Cancer Returned

In 2010, cancer returned. This time, I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Doctors at UCLA told my family and me that there was no chance of remission and that I had only months to live.

That day, I went to the beach and poured my heart out to God. I begged Him for more time. I did not know how my story would continue, but I knew I was not ready to give up.

Through the generosity of friends, fundraising, and the doors God opened, I found CMN Hospital in Mexico and pursued alternative cancer treatment.

By October 2011, I was cancer-free. Dr. Payán and his team saved my life, and I have never stopped being grateful for the second chance I received.

Looking Back

After entering the Victims of Crime Program to escape a relentless stalker, I was forced to leave behind my name, home, and the life I knew. This is my story of never giving up in spite of fear and looking back to see how God was always there.

I could not see what God was preparing while I was living through those years. I only knew that I had to keep taking the next step.

Today, I understand that my story did not begin with cancer, and my purpose is not limited to helping women who are facing illness. My heart is also with the woman who has survived violence, stalking, abuse, betrayal, loss, fear, or the painful experience of having to begin again.

I am finally sharing this story because I believe there is a woman who needs to know that she is not to blame, she is not forgotten, and her life is not over.

Continue the Journey With Me

If something in my story speaks to your heart, I invite you to subscribe to my podcast, Women at the Crossroads.

I will share more of the stories, lessons, prayers, and moments that shaped my life before and after cancer. We will talk honestly about fear, faith, survival, starting over, and recognizing the ways God was present even when we could not see Him.

My prayer is that another woman listening will feel understood and discover that she does not have to carry her story alone.

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