Finding Love After Tragedy:
A Story of Hope and Healing
The Magic of Our Love Story
Our love story began in 1993 when we first looked into each other's eyes. We were young and saw each other across a crowded room. Michael asked me to dance, and as soon as we held hands, our souls collided. The first time we met, there were many synchronicities and feelings we couldn't describe. We already knew each other as if it was not our first encounter. We knew it without any words spoken. Joy, trust, and harmony all shifted in our hearts. As the relationship developed, we were more than comfortable with one another; we could be ourselves around each other. Our conversation continued for hours, and I was pleased with him even when we were not saying anything. Silence and breaks in conversations with others usually feel awkward. Not with us. There wasn't much we couldn't talk about.
The Unexpected Journey: Love, Loss, and Triumph
One day, I received a call from a woman claiming to be Michael’s fiancée from Wisconsin, where he used to live. Shocked, I confronted Michael, who adamantly denied ever proposing to anyone, insisting she was lying. Despite his stable job in California, my past experiences of divorce and betrayal made me project my fears onto him. The woman turned out to be someone Michael had dated, intent on causing trouble. In my hurt and confusion, I cut off all contact with Michael, a decision I later regretted.
Michael was heartbroken but respected my wishes and left. My heart felt like it was ripped in half. Life challenged both of us, and our faith in God guided us through adversity. Michael endured profound loss, losing his brother in a plane crash and his father in an accident. He faced a severe car accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down, yet with determination, he rehabilitated himself and walked again.
I faced failed relationships and became a victim of a crime. Stalked and sexually assaulted, I had to relocate and change my identity for safety, losing my life history in the process. Later, I battled stage 3 breast cancer, then stage 4 while coping with domestic violence from my husband in 2010. UCLA gave me 12 months to live, but I didn't give up. I sought advanced alternative cancer treatment in San Luis, MX, which saved my life in 2011. I've been cancer-free since.
Michael looked for me later in life. Despite my new name and relocation, he found me, thanks to modern technology. Our reunion felt like a miracle, a testament to the power of love and faith.
Reunited After 25 Years
Michael looked for me later in life. Despite my new name and relocation, he found me, thanks to modern technology. Our reunion felt like a miracle, a testament to the power of love and faith. One day, I went to my old Facebook account to retrieve some photos. There was a message from a man I did not know who had let Michael borrow his account to write me a letter; he wrote wishing me and my kids a Merry Christmas. I did not get it for over a year after he wrote it. I was in shock and thought this couldn’t be possible. I can’t explain all I felt because it was a combination of realization, longing, and sorrow. All these emotions were triggered by a letter. My curiosity pushed me to write him at the email address he sent me. I called him on the phone number he sent me. Hearing each other’s voices on the phone felt familiar. I wanted to climb through that phone and be back in his arms. It was four years after that phone call before we finally reunited with each January 1st, 2018, after being apart for 25 years. We saw each other on Facetime; thank God for modern technology!
We sometimes look back on our life experiences; we spent a little time feeling regret and shed tears. Now that we are together we remind each other of what matters most. “We have each other now.” We find the blessings and appreciate our union more than ever. All our adversity was how God prepared us for the greatest love. Together we love and serve God.
Overcoming Personal Challenges
There had been such a tragic motif running through my life for a couple of decades, I just knew my story couldn’t end like this. Our life journey has value, and we have blessings along the way, even if life seems so unfair! I needed to learn self-compassion, and I had to remind myself of my worth according to God. To find happily ever after, we must feel deserving of it. If we are kicking ourselves constantly while we are already down from past traumatic events in our lives, how can we? We can’t. The only way to ensure that negative experiences from my past would not affect my ability to have a healthy and happy relationship in the future was to heal old wounds.
I realized that trying to “think my way out” of past traumatic events and putting them on the back burner for many years was not the best approach. Rather than criticizing or shaming myself, I needed to reflect and review past relationships from a new perspective. Learning to trust myself was the first step to getting guidance from someone I could trust. My final approach that proved successful was getting help from a counselor who specialized in PTSD and a life coach who also understood PTSD. Getting my education and certification to become a life coach was the most beneficial thing I did for myself. A person's self-perception affects how they think about others.
Marriage came after a long process of learning my value and feeling worthy of compassion from a man. To approach romance and love with a healthy mindset, I needed help resolving past trauma. It would take time to unlearn deeply ingrained thought patterns, and I knew it would be an ongoing process if I ever wanted to start living my best life. While I wasn't actively seeking a romantic relationship, dealing with past trauma helped me become stronger and more confident. You can learn to let go of harsh and critical mindsets if you've ever felt you weren't deserving of love. I finally did after two decades of putting myself through the false beliefs of what I thought I did not deserve. We all deserve love.
Embracing Joy and Sharing Hope
Today, I'm happy, and I feel it's important to share the joy in my life alongside the traumatic events. Michael and I have our own beautiful love story, one that we cherish deeply. We know that God brought us back together, and we want to inspire hope in anyone who feels too damaged by their past to believe in the possibility of great love. Our story is a testament that love is always within reach, no matter how broken we may feel.
On December 3, 2019, We Married
“Creating a Life of Love,
Trust, and Gratitude:
Our Journey to "Happily Ever After"
A New Beginning: Love Rekindled
Michael and I made a covenant as husband and wife for eternity. His trust in me is the best gift I have ever received. Trust is the cornerstone of commitment, and without it, relationships falter. Our wedding video captures a beautiful surprise halfway through, right when the "Me and You" song ends. Michael had recorded a special wedding toast from my dad, who was battling cancer and had only months to live. Hearing his words made it feel like Dad was with us on our special day.
Our home is a sanctuary of happiness, and I thank God for every blessing. I placed positive, loving notes around our home to change our perspective, reminding us that we deserve lasting happiness. Our minds are constantly active, so it's crucial to fill them with positivity. These affirmations remind us to be grateful and to live a life we love.
Living in gratitude has brought immense peace. After years of hardship, finding joy in simple moments and recognizing the blessings in my life have been transformative. Michael and I share a bond strengthened by trust, love, and faith. Our journey together proves that no matter how deep the scars, healing and happiness are possible.
Sharing our story, I hope to offer a beacon of hope to anyone feeling too broken to believe in love again. Our love story demonstrates that love is always within reach, no matter how broken we may feel.