People often ask me why cancer treatment works with some individuals and not others. Whether it is conventional or alternative, this is the case. I know they are referring to the physician and treatments.
It takes more than the physician and treatments in my experience, and I think each of us is on a unique journey to healing the mind, body, heart, and soul. A lot is involved with cancer. What if it has to do with their self-talk? You cannot get in the mind of each person. I have listened to many women in my life-coaching and learned a lot. Starting with myself. I went from being the worst self-critic on auto-pilot and completely unaware of how my mind was totally knocking me to the ground mentally and emotionally.
For the last nine years, I have tried to be as transparent as possible with all that I have done with healing my heart, mind, body, and soul to all who seek me out looking for the answers to surviving cancer. I assure them, first of all, it isn’t luck for any of us survivors. Come what may our desire to begin fixing what we think we broke kicks in! Some of us change our diets and start supplements immediately.
Some begin going to church and getting closer to their spiritual roots. Cancer can really be a call to action for your soul.
From the moment we are diagnosed we start looking back at our life choices we made. Each of us has a unique immune system and our response time to when we take action for treatment varies from one another as well. Cancer treatment includes emotional healing for many of us and changing how we cope with stress. That was a big one for me. The first book I purchased that had a workbook companion that was life-changing was “Safe People” Here is the link. I need to tell you it is a faith based book following bible scriptures. It still has great lessons that are eye opening but scriptures that show example for one reason (Hey, even Jesus had boundaries so don’t feel bad if you make it a rule that someone must earn your trust first)
Some traits of Unsafe People
~Unsafe people demand trust instead of earning it. No one is entitled to it.
~Criticizing without being caring
~Apologetic without changing their harmful behaviors
~Blame others instead of taking responsibility for their decisions.
~Treat others with a lack of empathy when they are upset.
~ “Often fail ” to forgive others for their mistakes.
The saddest part of this is these individuals often inflict themselves with the same treatment, Self-criticism, holding on to shame for their past mistakes, they cannot trust themselves, and lack self-compassion.
They need to heal themselves within first, you cannot fix them.
Safe People Book Link Below
A good example on my personal growth over the years would be to look back at my first cancer diagnosis of stage 3 breast cancer in 2006. I did not believe I deserved all the pain I was going through (poor, poor, pitiful me) and yet I blamed myself too! I mean, I handled cancer the first time like a train wreck, which is why you don’t see a single picture of me going through it at all in WA State.
I was terrified and angry because I felt no control over what was happening! I saw people around me through what was
projecting. I was looking through a filter of fear that brings up a whole host of other negative emotions.
Resentment, distrust, frustration, impatience, contempt, sadness, depression, self-pity loneliness, humiliation, abandonment, envy, longing, blame, regret embarrassment, worry, anxiety, confusion, distrust, insecurity, and doubt.
How can we see and feel love while we have so much fear running through us constantly?
Everywhere I turned, whether it was a medical appointment or interacting with friends, I felt a dark cloud hanging heavy over my head just waiting to rain more bad news on me.
Think of placebo groups, and your mind will start to wander off into the right direction. How do people respond favorably to a placebo a sugar pill? They “think” they have the drug!
My first step to healing emotionally was a gratitude journal. I began it at the end of my battle with stage 3 breast cancer when I had so many complications with infection from multiple surgeries. I started by writing thank you for 5 things a day and progressed by taping positive messages to my ceiling. I was in such a state of depression I knew I was spiraling downward and that I had to do something. I healed from stage 3 cancer in 2008.
In 2010 it came back with a vengeance though.
I took my gratitude and positive messages to a whole new level! I refused chemo I chose alternative at CMN in San Luis Mexico even after my UCLA oncologist gave me 12 months to live. People saw my positive messages On my my water bottles, again taped on walls and my ceiling so they would be the first thing I saw when I woke up! It was not going too far when I drew a heart and wrote messages on my body because our body is about 75% water. I had to write those messages as a reminder that I was lovable because I was now married to a physically abusive man during this second battle with stage 4 cancer in 2010 and I knew I had to succeed. I think a fighting spirit has a lot to do with this. It was private and personal and I did not ask a single woman for advice on how to0 win my battle. NOT ONE WOMAN! I PRAYED. I did not belong to a single group. They did not exist on facebook at that time.
I also framed a picture of myself when I was a little girl and sent her messages of love. I spoke to her and told her my plan f how I was going to save her life. I told her she was loved, that I love her as if she was my daughter. Is it crazy? NO! not when you have a husband hitting you and a doctor saying you are dying. We are unique. Do what you must do.
My faith in God was so important, and knowing that I was lovable to God was so important. Be unconventional, pay attention to your heart wounds and heal them any way you can. Do it quick .
You are worthy, ignore the negative self-talk and gravitate to LOVING PEOPLE. Never ever take them for granted. They are hard to find. If you believe in God, Keep Him the closest. Cancer is not a punishment, “That’s a lie” Cancer helped me learn His love and self-compassion. It helped me learn my soul purpose and to live each day with intention. I am no longer living on autopilot.